Do you get depressed every time a date turns out to be a dud?Are you devastated when you don't get "the call" from a guy you like? Do you constantly check your dates out for marriage potential? Chances are you're taking dating way too seriously. According to Myreah Moore -- "America's Dating Coach" -- women need to start dating to have fun, which is what men have been doing for ages! In fact, Moore says, dating is a lot like a science. And with any scientific experiment, it's trial and error. In Date Like a Man, she steals dating secrets from men (the masters of dating) and transforms them into a personal training program that will boost your dating prospects -- and increase your chances of finding a soul mate.
Clear, candid, and empowering, Date Like a Man makes the manhunt fun -- the way it should be. Even if you think you're a dating expert, you'll devour this manual -- the new bible for surviving and thriving in today's world.
You've tried The Rules, you've tried listening to your married friends, and you've even tried listening to your mother. But you're still eating Chinese takeout with your good Friends Monica, Rachel, Ross and Chandler. So how is dating like a man going to change your social life?
Let's start by going back to our cave-dwelling ancestors. According to David Buss, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, men's reproductive drives cause them to value a woman's youth and physical appearance, and to seek out a variety of sex partners.
Women, in contrast, place a higher premium on a mate's ambition, industriousness and social status to help ensure the survival of the species. Like it or not, these basic biological needs still influence the way men and women date today.
In addition, boys learn from day one how to bond with other children through sports. Sports teach boys how to be competitive and work as a team. Above all, sports encourage them to get out of the house and have fun.
Although many girls growing up today are involved in team sports and have parents who teach them that education, career and self-exploration are also priorities, they are still getting the societal message that love relationships are paramount in their lives.
This fact was confirmed in a recent study conducted at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Dr. Karen D. Rudolph, assistant professor of psychology, found that the majority of stress for girls between the ages of eight and eighteen was caused by relationship problems, including fights with their siblings and friends. (Boys were more likely to be stressed about doing poorly in school, getting sick, moving to a new town or getting into trouble.)Now, I'm not saying that relationships aren't important; men want them, too. But guys also know that having a full life means reaching out beyond your small circle of friends, family and community.
One of the advantages of getting out into the world is discovering what you like and what you don't like. You might also find that nine times out of ten, you're not who you think you are.
Remember the disco queen from the seventies, Donna Summer? She grew up in a large family headed by a preacher father who wanted Donna to stay close to home and sing gospel for his church. But Donna knew in her heart that although she was deeply religious and loved her family, she needed to perform on a larger stage.
She tried the stay-at-home role with her first husband, and felt trapped and miserable. So Donna finally decided to pursue her dream of becoming a pop singer. Sure, there were bad times and bad relationships along the way, but she is now happily remarried with several children and wonderful memories of a career in the spotlight.
Like young birds that need to test their wings, women have got to get out into the world before they start a nest of their own. Remember: Men don't settle down until they find themselves. Women don't settle down until they find a man. Find yourself first, then settle.
Men Know What They Want and Need (And How to Get Those Wants and Needs Met)
I told you in the previous section why it's important to find yourself before you find a man. To do this, you must get out in the world and experience as much as possible. At the same time, however, there are exercises that you must do by yourself and for yourself. I call this doing the inner work.
Doing the inner work is an essential part of dating like a man. Men tend to know exactly they want from a career and from a woman. When I asked a young man named Brian how he saw himself in ten years, he described his house, car, wife and breed of dog in full detail. He had already started...
As "America's Dating Coach," Myreah Moore has helped thousands of women find their soul mates through her personal training sessions and public seminars. Her national television appearances include Sally Jessy Raphael, Leeza, Ricki Lake, Maury, and Geraldo.
Jodie Gould is an author and writer specializing in relationships and popular culture. Her articles have appeared in Cosmopolitan, Elle, Redbook, the New York Times Syndicate and others.
